Are Men Simply Too Embarrassing?: Sabrina Carpenter's 'Please Please Please' Music Video Review

Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please (Official Video) - YouTube

I’m starting to believe Sabrina Carpenter’s music has crack in it - the addiction is too severe and has gone to extremes… the other day, I washed my face with my headphones still on blasting ‘Please Please Please’. Like, it’s okay, you won’t miss anything for the 2 minutes you’re washing your face, babe… or will I?

ANYWAY - this video is a cultural MOMENT not just because it’s the hard launch of Sabrina and Barry Keoghan’s relationship, but also because it captures what so many women are feeling today- the fear of a man disappointing us because, well, that seems to be the norm. Sabrina expresses the desire to lock her man away so he can’t publically embarrass her in front of her family and friends - “I know you’re cravin’ some fresh air, but the ceiling fan is so nice” - she’s so funny, omg. Sabrina speaks to the real fear that many women share right now - that a man’s poor actions will negatively impact the perception of a woman’s character, including her lack of self-esteem in a feminist, brat-era culture. Women go into a relationship hoping men don’t prove them right, as Sabrina says, because their expectations are at an all-time-low, in hell more specifically. Sabrina sings, “if you wanna go and be stupid, don’t do it in front of me”, conveying that women are at the point where they know indecency will happen, but they’d rather be blind to it to protect their self-respect.

We know dating is at a culturally tension-filled moment with articles like this from The Cut detailing how bad dating for singles is right now, Bumble’s most recent ad campaign illustrating how burnt out single women are thinking of becoming nuns, and the way Barbie poked fun at men’s narcissim on dates like playing a song AT you. But what I’ve seen is that at the height of a cultural “fed-up-ness” with straight men and their lack of recipropcation, women have become ‘icked’ out by the thought of romance. I even noticed my friends in relationships humorously making comments about how it feels “cringe” to say they have a boyfriend.

The music video showcases Sabrina and Barry as characters who met in jail with a glance that bonded them into a relationship as Sabrina’s character is released. They would touch their fingertips to the plexiglass while talking through the phone on their noncontact visits, and when he was finally released she ironically sings, “I know I have good judgement; I know I have good taste”. Barry’s character goes on to make each of their dates a criminal offense, fighting with mob members, robbing banks, and kidnapping people as Sabrina’s character begs him to “Please Please Please” not “prove [she’s] right”. But, she still takes him back despite the continued embarrassment (and crimes).

The music video takes the story to another level than the lyrics do on their own by positioning Sabrina’s character meeting her love interest in jail, but then praying for him to be safe and not commit crimes. Not to say everyone that’s gone to jail is NOT worthy of changing, but I think by setting up this dynamic of praying a criminal won’t be criminal, Sabrina expertly takes accountability for choosing toxicity and praying it won’t be toxic. This dynamic is something to ponder - were you the homewrecker, and now you’re praying he won’t cheat? Did you let him Snapchat you for 6 months, and now you’re hoping he will go off on acts of service? Why do we think that we can change people so radically from where the relationship began? Is there to be some accountability on women for not drawing the right boundaries of what we’ll put up with? My friend and I feel Sabrina coined a new phrase through this video - “you met him in jail, babe” - which means don’t expect much of the relationship if it started in struggle.

At the end of the video, Sabrina’s character ties Barry’s character up, handcuffs him and lets him go with a smile and a kiss, signifying her taking the power back and not letting her ego suffer at the hands of a man’s embarrassing actions. May we all be this strong <3